“V” is for Victory and “T” is for Trust
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and when I say AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!, I mean it in the best possible way. That was how I felt earlier yesterday when God decided to show me what it looks like to trust Him until the end. Now my story is not as dramatic or dire as many other people’s stories, but it is a story that I feel is worth sharing. When I was a sophomore in high school, I decided that I was going to be an occupational therapist (which, by the way, is not when you try to help people pick out a career while they lay on a chaise lounge chair). I had never even heard of it until my Dad told me about it that year. My Dad and I would talk about different careers to try to figure out what I would like to do with my life. When he brought up the possibility of OT, I really got into it. This was something that I could do. I thought that I could help people and it seemed like it was within my capabilities (this is the start of seeing God’s Hands in this-He placed the desire in my heart). Then I got to my junior year… let’s just say that I had an intimidating anatomy and physiology class that made me want to never be an occupational therapist (sounds stupid, I know, but at the time I felt like I did not want to become anything that required another anatomy class). I spent the rest of my junior year and some of my senior year exploring more options. I seriously considered elementary education, but it still never felt right to me. Then one day, my physics teacher asked one of his former students to come in to talk to my physics class. It was unique in that he never had another speaker come in other than this student (this is my next landmark of God moving in this aspect of my life). The student was studying OT at her college and she was asked to speak to us about occupational therapy. After that class and after hearing her talk about all of the good that OTs do, I was sure that this was what I wanted to do. So, from the start of my college career, I always had my eyes on the prize- trying to get into grad school. I decided to apply to two universities, one I REALLY REALLY wanted to go to, the other I REALLY REALLY didn’t want to go to. The whole application process is very stressful and anxiety-inducing. I decided early on that I was going to trust God with this. He needed to decide my future; I had to work to get to that point, but ultimately I wanted to be okay with whatever He lead me into, whether it be grad school or putting it off for another year. It might sound silly, but putting it off for a year made me worry. The essay that I wrote for the school that I wanted to get into, I was confident about and I even mentioned God in it, which was important to me. The other application, my essay, though I tried, was not as good as I would have liked and probably not PC enough for the very liberal university. Even though I did not want to go to the second school, if I only got into that one, I was going to go (I’d have no other choice). Anyways, I was trying my best to not worry, lean on God, and steep it all in prayer. Needless to say, I still worried a bit, but I do not feel like I have ever trusted God so much with something as I did this process. To my delight, I was called in for an interview for my first choice school. I went to the interview, and when I was done, let’s just say I thought it could go either way. Some of my answers I felt confident about, but others, not so much. I thought I might get wait-listed, which can be good, but it doesn’t guarantee you a spot. Then the next day I received a letter from my back-up school. I was not sure what to expect, but as I slowly read the letter, I soon found out that I was not accepted. Now, you’re probably thinking, “but you didn’t want to go there anyway,” which is a valid argument. I was still troubled by it, though, because now I HAD to get into my #1 choice because if I didn’t, I wouldn’t be going to grad school in the fall- and that scared me. My Dad and I even made a list of 48 other schools that I could look into if I did not get into the program. I was tempted to start looking them up (which I briefly looked up one of the schools earlier that day), but I decided that I was just going to wait and trust God before I started worrying about what came next. I decided that I was just going to leave it in God’s Hands and not worry too much about it. Finally I can get to the fun part of the story. Yesterday morning I went out to run an errand and on my way home I got a phone call from my Dad. I pulled over into a pizzeria parking lot and my Dad gave me the good news that my first choice school had accepted me (he “accidentally” opened my letter). I think he may have been expecting me to scream or cheer or something, but all that he heard was silence. I could not help but cry. I was weeping- it was very emotional for me. I just wanted to thank God for all that He did for me. I was relieved that years of anticipation ended well. I was happy that my dreams were coming true, but most of all I was amazed at how God had had the whole situation in His Hands the whole time (He just built the suspense a little first). The night before my interview, I was reading the book of Exodus, particularly chapter 14 where Moses is leading the Israelites across the Red Sea and Pharaoh and his army are on the Israelites’ tail. A few verses stuck out to me while I read: “But Moses answered the people, “Do not fear! Stand your ground and see the victory the LORD will win for you today. For these Egyptians whom you see today you will never see again. The LORD will fight for you; you have only to keep still.” (Exodus 14:13-14) Even though I may not have been trying to escape Pharaoh and his army, I felt that I could use these verses as a comfort in my present troubles. I used this as my battle cry for the rest of the week that all of these events took place in. I knew that God would grant me victory (even if that meant not getting into grad school) and all that I had to do was be still. I did what was expected of me, and the rest was in God’s Hands. I just had to trust that His Will would win out. I found rest in those verses and God proved to me that was all that I had to do. So my point is this, whatever you are going through, do what God asks of you and leave the rest in His Hands. When you do that, God will win you the victory. The victory may not be what you think it is all of the time, but God has a great plan for each and every one of us and He intends to see it through. Trust me, you will be doing yourself a favor by just surrendering it unto Him.